


Common Angaran/Human greeting

by sliverofanonymity



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Crack, F/M, Practical Jokes, Wtf is this even?, alien relations, not actually a funny joke at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-05 23:38:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11023977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sliverofanonymity/pseuds/sliverofanonymity
Summary: This is based on some stupid picture I drew, then it turned into a stupid one page comic, and now I'm writing a fic about it???????Paraan Shie informs Ryder that she must greet the formidable leader of the resistance with their version of a handshake.Ryder's all "okay, sounds fake, but okay..."Evfra is informed that he must greet this human Pathfinder with a common human greeting. He's terrified.





	Common Angaran/Human greeting

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I keep writing these stupid idiots into stupid situations?

The gesture was disturbingly intimate, but Ryder did  _not_ want to piss off the angaran. 

 

However, the moment they both awkwardly reached towards each other, and stroked each other's face, she shuddered. Her face hot with embarrassment as Evfra's thumb grazed her lips, her own grazing his.

 

Shyly bumping their arms together, Evfra took on a bright azure hue as he shuddered at her thumb slipping into his mouth. He groaned, trying to pull back. 

 

"This can't be the right greeting..." he breathed in frustration.

 

"Shit..." Ryder flushed as his fingers left a bio electric trail on her face and tongue. Evfra leaned in and kissed her, hard. 

 

_Wrong wrong wrong_. Everything seemed to scream at her as she gripped at his shoulders. 

 

" _Stars_. Why do you taste so  _good_." Evfra groaned into her mouth as he pushed her onto his desk. 

 

_Wrong wrong wrong, but it feels so RIGHT._ Ryder hooked her legs over his hips. 

 

"Whiskey?" Ryder replied. 

 

"The skutt is that?" Evfra asked, his face buried in her neck. Her skin gave off a faint scent of something like a fruit.

 

"A human drink..."

 

"Mmhmm." He inhaled, and bit down on her neck, licking and sucking. It tasted different here. He pulled her shirt back from the collar, and went to attack her shoulder. Judging by the fact that she kept tasting better and better under his tongue, he felt this would be easier than he had anticipated. 

 

Ryder groaned, there was no way that she  _hadn't_ been set up as the angaran man pulled at her shirt, until she finally removed it. Though Paraan Shie had told her it was just  _how she should greet him_. He wanted her to remove her pants as well. 

 

"Uhm... uhm... I... I don't really feel comfortable taking off my pants..." She said shyly. He stopped in his ministrations as he looked at her.

 

"But... it's... it's human custom to..." Judging by her reaction, he realised she had probably been told something about this being angaran custom. "She told you the same thing..."

 

By this stage, Ryder was nearly in tears, she had been fooled so badly. This kind of bullying was why she had so hurriedly left the Milky Way. 

 

"What did she tell you?" He hissed, grabbing her shirt, and pulling her down behind his desk, holding her tightly. The human woman had begun to sob in his arms. 

 

"That I needed to impress you... that you were terrifying, and had an insatiable sexual appetite." Evfra held her tighter, kissing the top of her head. 

 

"She told me that I needed to fuck you, or you'd kill us all..." He murmured gently on her hair. "I was terrified."

 

Ryder looked at him and gave a small chuckle. "I was actually a bit excited..."

 

Evfra stared at her, his expression unreadable. 

 

"You weren't." He insisted. Ryder kissed him.

 

"You're really attractive."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wtf was thisssss????? Aaauuuggg
> 
> Jaal is all "why would you do that Shie?"
> 
> Evfra is pissed and also possibly has a crush.
> 
> Ryder is just giving one finger salutes and is super mad.
> 
> Why did I post this???????


End file.
